Monday, September 14, 2009

Jews for Jesus

Dear Jews for Jesus,

Please stop targeting Squirrel Hill. Yes, Squirrel Hill is a Jewish neighborhood, and not surprisingly it is filled with Jews. But, if these Jews want to "come to Jesus," they can do so very well without your help.

It is quite possible, Jews for Jesus, that people are leading very happy lives without your interference. It is also quite likely that your influence can make people feel guilty about their happy lives, as if there were a Jesus-shaped hole in their hearts. This Jesus-shaped hole is impossible to fill, because it doesn't really exist.

Your impassioned evangelism actually makes a lot of people miserable. And besides that, it's irritating. Plus, your brochures are not environmentally-friendly. Didn't God want us to practice good stewardship of the Earth? Have you looked into websites?

Jews for Jesus and other proselytes, we've already heard your "good news." Please go bother someone else.

Sincerely,

Ms. Pittsburgh

1 comment:

  1. Now they're in Oakland. They JesusLovesYou'd me today. Bastards.

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